How Kanjoos became Makkichoos

Once upon a time there was a bald headed flaky skinned thin guy called Kanjoos (Miser in Hindi). He was a miser of such miserable proportions that he would eat one piece of chapatti (Indian bread) over four days. How he would do that was very simple. On day 1 he would dip the bread for ten minutes in water (which was free courtesy the government) and then drink the water convincing himself that all the essential nutrients have been transferred from the bread piece to the water. He would use the same piece of bread and do the same process for the next two days. On the fourth day he would eat the piece of bread with relish and a sense of contentment much to the relief of his tortured digestive system.

One fine day Kanjoos went to a tea stall.

Now this tea shop had lore of its own. The shop itself was in the ground floor of a decrepit building bang in the middle of the commercial hub of the city. One wouldn’t notice it unless one was previously aware of its presence. While the exterior walls had pan (betel leaves) stains the interior walls held decades’ old grime. The proprietor Mr. Lal was not the kind of person who believed in the adage Cleanliness is next to Godliness. He was a short portly man who could use his protruding belly to hold anything from a book to a tea cup for him. He was shabby in his attire and always had a sleazy smile for his customers and a big knotted frown for the one other person who was a constant fixture in the shop the tea-maker-cum-waiter Shamsher.

Because of the low influx of customers the owner and server duo had come up with a novel scheme to reap profits out of the poor souls who did venture in. They had captured a fly, named it Leela and imprisoned it in a matchbox. Now using a fly as an accomplice in one’s monkey business is not easy. They had trained Leela for a number of months during the length of the day when there were no customers in the shop, which was a lot of time to make a champ out of the fly. Leela had been patiently taught to do one trick. As soon as released from the match box she would fly straight for any tea glass in sight. She just had to stick her body to the glass very close to the hot liquid. She would be rescued in a couple of minutes by Shamsher and would be rewarded with a few minutes of gluttony inside a dustbin.

Kanjoos strolled into the tea stall after having spent a nice miserly hour shopping in the markets. He was greeted by Mr.Lal with the same sleazy smile from behind the cash counter and belly. He returned the smile albeit a little hesitatingly for he was not used to any special treatment from any business men for the measly amount of money he would spend. He occupied the table in one corner of the shop not that it would make any difference. He could have had any seat for the whole shop was void of customers apart from himself anyway. But why Kanjoos chose that particular table was for a special reason. It was next to a window and just outside the window a person was sitting and reading a magazine. Now Kanjoos purported to do the same i.e. read that person’s magazine through the window of the tea shop. As he sat down Shamsher bounded to his side to get his order. Kanjoos ordered for half a glass of tea and settled down to read the magazine. He did not notice Shamsher return in five minutes with his tea. He sipped on his tea very slowly. Shamsher returned a couple of minutes later to ask him if the tea was tasty. Kanjoos failed to observe a matchbox in Shamsher’s hand which was opened in one fine movement. Leela was out in seconds and was hovering near Kanjoos’ table. She then dived into the glass of tea and stuck fast. Kanjoos was fast into the magazine story. Mr. Lal looked at Shamsher without a frown (which for him was the boss’ smiling face). Shamsher immediately hurried over to Kanjoos and informed him about the fly. He also put on a look of disgust to add a convincing touch. He politely clucked at the misfortune that had occurred in the tea glass and offered to him another. Of course the attitude subtly displayed that Kanjoos would have to pay for the second one also. But Kanjoos look unperturbed. He just glanced at Shamsher with a look of frustration and at the fly. He completely ignored Shamsher’s plea and turned towards the magazine. Shamsher not being able to handle the situation took a few paces back and glanced at his boss. The boss looked angry and the frown was back. He nodded strongly towards Kanjoos. Shamsher went back for a second attempt. This time Kanjoos even consented to say something to the effect of how much could a fly steal of his tea. Dully Shamsher looked back at his boss and shrugged. The boss was thunderous. His face had a huge black cloud which could burst open any minute. By the time Shamsher went back to Kanjoos’ table Kanjoos was very irritated with him. Not only had the guy outside the window gone ahead and turned the page but also Kanjoos, who had not been able to read the last column on the previous page, could not follow the story continued on the next.

As Shamsher opened his mouth in an attempt to implore once again, Kanjoos lifted the fly off the glass put it into his mouth sucked all the tea on it and threw it on the table. Lifted his glass drank up the rest of the tea, paid and left.

He left behind Mr.Lal looking at him with his mouth open and Shamsher bent over Leela wondering if she was alive.


Bubbaloobalaba Books!

I took a nice little quiz to find out what my reading personality is and here's the result :

Your Personality: All-Rounder!

Your responses showed you fitting equally into all four reading personalities:

Involved Reader: You don't just love to read books, you love to read about books. For you, half the fun of reading is the thrill of the chase - discovering new books and authors, and discussing your finds with others.
Exacting Reader: You love books but you rarely have as much time to read as you'd like - so you're very particular about the books you choose.
Serial Reader: Once you discover a favorite writer you tend to stick with him/her through thick and thin.
Eclectic Reader: You read for entertainment but also to expand your mind. You're open to new ideas and new writers, and are not wedded to a particular genre or limited range of authors.

You can take the quiz at Book Browse


Tagwork Status : Completed

Am in the right frame of mind after the blog de anger to complete my tag assignment.
Here is the list of things I hate :

  • Waking up early (that would be anytime before 10 AM) in the morning.
  • People telling me that I look sleepy when am freshest in my mind and wide awake (come to think of it I can’t blame them because I am sleepy half the time wrt reason in prev point).
  • Staying alone at home (which is contrary to situation before marriage hinting at chameleonic change of character).
  • People conveying their opinions about me or telling me what to do indirectly by voicing it in my proximity to somebody else.
  • Science fiction books and movies (except for Scary Movie series maybe).
  • The fact that Good food = lots of fat (notice the non usage of nutritious, when I mean good I mean extra cheese cream fried etc).
  • Traffic at peak hours in Bangalore (but as my hubby says it also means positive progress in standard of living).
  • Oh yeah can’t forget the loud burps that emanate from some mouths who think that’s the best way to express appreciation for the delicious food consumed (this is except for people who have a genuine gastric disorder).

At this point I stop because if adding on any more to the list needs thinking then its not worth showering any emotion on, even if its only hate :)


Rajdeep Sardesai packs a punch in his blogs too

Loved this post
http://www.ibnlive.com/blogs/blog_entry.php?id=6290&author_id=1 .

The author is the Editor-in-Chief of CNN-IBN a conglomeration of Global Broadcast News (GBN), a TV18 Group Company, and Turner International (Turner) in India.

The Blank Noise Project blogathon

I might be a little late for the blogathon which was supposed to link all the participants on 7th but does it really matter. What I want to do is support the cause.
I am a woman who has gone through harassment more than once. Even if it was mainly verbal harassment it nevertheless made me want to burrow into a hole. It is very difficult to share one's own experiences of this nature. I tell my husband, it’s the feeling of shame that engulfs us more than anger at the offender when such incidents occur. Because if it was rage then I think eve-teasing could have long been abolished. But the attitude of looking down and scurrying away is taking its toll. When I was in school and had to go through eve teasing on the roads I used to wonder if these guys were perverts. Even middle aged b*****ds indulging in it. But today when I read news about young girls 8 yrs old, 6 yrs old, 4 yrs old (God almighty!) I am not left in much doubt. It is not very easy for a girl to tell her parents about the harassment that she is subjected to in public places. It requires a lot of courage. I developed the sense to handle such situations early in my life. But again I did this because it was easier to handle it myself rather than give it unwanted publicity by telling parents. What all could I tell them? The sleazy brush in the bus, the passing of lewd comments as one passed by, groping in crowded places, glances pointedly on one's chest area? There was this handicrafts exhibition we went to once. We here being my parents and me. There I spotted a guy who was tagging along with a stream of girls. He kept one of his hands in his pocket and if one observed one could see it moving back and forth. I don’t need to explain what was happening here but it made me feel so sick that I forced my parents to get out of that place as fast as we could. Would I have had the guts to stop this guy and question him? I don’t think so. Not in front of my parents. Another sick incident was in a crowded market place. Now, market places are the breeding grounds for mentally-deranged-sleaze-balls. One of this ilk tagged on to me as soon as me and my mom got out of the bus. His modus operandi was very simple. I was walking behind my mom and he kept in step behind me. Whenever there was a people jam he would rush up against me. The first time I gave him a dirty stare he seemed to look behind him and shrug. The next time it happened he stood askance behind me and I knew. This happened many times to his credit because it was just a fifteen minute walk. The next few times I just stuck my elbow out so that the creep would encounter a sharp jab. But it dint deter him! Finally to get rid of the menace I had to tell my mom about him and get her to walk behind me. *Sick*. They don’t just stop at letching at nubile young girls. It extends to any woman who does not have any obvious signs of old age.
What is in their perverted mind? How did such crappy thoughts enter it? Did they go to the same kind of schools that we went to (eve teasing is not the domain of only the illiterates)? Do they ever feel guilty? What do they get out of jeering when they are with their friends? Of course they are sure the girl will bend her head and walk away but will not come and slap him. But seen from the girl’s side its fear. Fear of repercussions. Can she afford to confront these creeps? Would it ruin her life?
One way of getting rid of it would be to have stringent laws and conscientious law enforcement officers. Ideally I would like to give sexual harassers whether mental or physical a lifetime in prison just to set a precedent but again I am not qualified to pass judgments. We should also try to get to the root of such a personality trait. All those questions I asked before are very important. Can we study the causes and come up with Prevention is better than cure mechanism? Can we teach men to respect women beyond the body? First thing I would do in this direction, would be to decouple the association of a woman to a child bearer. Leave the womb and the breasts out of the picture. There is much more to us than just that!
Let's start a revolution on Woman's Day



A bright new day. A break from everyday activities. Am enjoying today already inspite of it being only 8:45 AM yet. And to top it all I have been tagged by Neets. I am supposed to list down all things that i hate. Hmmm now me being a positive person blah blah and the other, I wonder how I am going to come up with a list. I can right away tell you that if there is one thing I hate most then its getting up early in the morning! Just can't stand it. No siree. But to come up with a list requires some soul search ;) and *thinking*. Will give that you in my next pohost.


Ctrl-C Ctrl-V

There was this cool meme on Granny's fantastic blog in which I shared my thoughts too. All I am doing it is copying it from her post's comments window on to my post.
All of you who read this are invited to post your thoughts.

  • Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?
Black and White. There are some classics there which would just look best with that lighting. I love Mary Poppins and My Fair lady and a whole bunch of others.

  • What is the 1 single subject that bores you to near-death?
*thinking hard* and its kinda boring me awready :)

  • MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?
MP3s....its accessible

  • You are handed one 1st class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and $10 million cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going … Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
Really tempting...but i would sorely miss them so No!

  • Seriously, what do you consider the world’s most pressing issue now?
Terror which would find its roots in ignorance

  • How would you rectify the world’s most pressing issue?
I would want to shout out "Comeon ppl dont listen to all those pea brained sadists who are instigating you to unleash fear in the minds of innocent ppl" but then heck who will listen to puny me?

  • You are given the chance to go back and change 1 thing in your life; what would that be?
I feel things have happened to me at the right time. No regrets.

  • You are given the chance to go back and change 1 event in world history, what would that be?
I am not sure coz i would then be scared of the consequences. A known devil is better than an unknown angel!

  • A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole’ Opry –Which do you choose? Movies *feeling small and looking at the floor*

  • What is the 1 great unsolved crime of all time you’d like to solve?
Whatever happened to all those pencils that i dropped under my seat in kindergarten?? It would just have vanished by the time i bent down to retrieve it!

  • One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
Arthur Hailey coz i want him to explain stock markets to me. I would serve him rasam(lentil soup) rice and curd rice with mango pickle.

  • You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky — what’s the 1st immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
I dont need a reason *smirks*

The Strip

If there is one last place that I can go to then it has to be Las Vegas.
If there is one last fantasy that I can live then it has to be at Las Vegas.
If there is one option of getting rich quick I want it to be Las Vegas.
If there is one dream that will be fulfilled I want it to be going to Las Vegas.

It’s a beautiful place! Who would have thought of transforming a boring brown desert into one of the most sought after tourist and fantasy destination of the world. Till now I have only heard stories from there and never really got the chance to visit it. But I swear I will chance-pe-dance as soon as I can. I was seeing this program called Vegas Magic on Travel & Living yesterday. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what they have done to revive the downtown area – they have covered it up with a canopy at the height of 90 feet with thousands of electric bulbs and it is lit up in a continuous frenzy of artistry every night! Can they get crazier than that? Or creative for that matter in another perspective!

I have heard first person accounts of the Bellagio and Paris casinos but believe me you, seeing is totally believing in this part of the world. They have gondolas plying on water in the middle of a desert maaan!

They have an Eiffel tower sitting snug in the surrounding glamour in stark contrast with its big brother in Paris which rises up magnificently above all its surroundings.

There are fountains (Bellagio) which would put our dancing dolls to shame with its jatkas and matkas.

I really did not observe the opulence of this casino when I saw it in Ocean’s Eleven. You really don’t have to travel around the world if you go once to Vegas. They have brought the world to one place “The strip”. Want to meet the Egyptians or look see a pyramid. No problem just step into Luxor.

If it’s Rome you want to lose yourself in then just choose Caesars.

Want to snuggle in the setting of Arabia they have Alladin for you.

Want to experience Vegas in style then MGM Grand is the place for you.

I realize that I have started sounding like a travel brochure but that’s because of my excitement at just the mere thought of Vegas. It’s a place where every person can have maximum enjoyment on his/her budget. Is there anything Indian out there? I am already getting a business proposition in my mind. Aha! But I wouldn’t want to call it Taj Mahal nor would I want to fill it with Persian carpets and elephantine elephant statues. I don’t like the idea of India only being known for its low costedness and the white marble giant or snakes. But again that’s another topic which I will take in another time and post. For now I want to travel deeper into the magic realm of Vegas if only in my dreams :)

Viva Las Vegas!