Get Real on HD

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T and me watch some reality shows in the sense of "that thing we do together" apart from movies, chatting, travel, outwitting V and having fun. We have been hooked to the big reality show Bigg Boss for the past few years. (I think we derive some perverse pleasure in seeing contestants squirm with embarassment, seethe with anger and reek of unnaturality.) This year we had to champion the cause of desi support in the videshi land by searching for the best unofficial HD recorded videos of this show. I would wait till evening with mounting enthusiasm and as soon as T would be home I would hurriedly shove a coffee cup in his hand and click on the play button. For the next one hour we would be lost in the world of the bawling contestants seeing them put on make-up, letting down their guard, shouting, screaming and eating! (Like one contestant pointed out they made 70 rotis a day!!). This everyday for 3 months. Last Saturday all the drama folded up with the finale. It left me high and dry with a lot of excitement still suspended in my system just like after a raucous wedding. "What to inject from next week?" screamed my mind. There is a possibility that the sound may have emanated and T might have heard the scream. He has shown me inspiration for the weeks ahead by searching for the HD online videos of MTV Roadies. Yes, that reality show which evokes the "I hate you like I love you" emotion has started! Should I even mention that I am hooked? Life is good again. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Photo Hoyitho!

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Our camera suddenly stopped focusing in auto-focus pre-programmed and programmable modes. I dint realise I was so attached to my canon till last weekend when this problem started. After a lot of barking up the wrong tree, I found a rather simple solution to the problem. The outer ring of the lens seems to be jammed and firmly moving it while focusing solves the problem. The reason for this I believe is another simple act. The act of putting away the camera after use. Our camera bag is shaped such that the camera needs to be shoved in lens first and in our hurry to capture our lives we are not too gentle with it. I dint know this but we should never store the camera in a bag lens first!
I have tried out the solution under a tungsten light and seems to be working well. I should however test this in daylight.
Crossing my fingers and hoping it will work!

Update from next morn :- It dint work :( Camera still does not focus

Increase tempo Walk faster

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I made a major discovery in the past few months. The music I listen to while walking changes it from dawdling to a power walk!
Earlier I always used to listen to songs I like which mainly were soft romantic numbers. Either that or listen to FM radio in Bangalore and I would have heard about 20 advertisements in my 30 minute walk. These past 4 months I have compiled a super duper walk playlist and each of the songs makes me get a spring in my step. The zing about these songs is in the beat in the background. All you need to do is match your step to the beat and you are automatically walking faster.
One of my favourites is



Just walk to the beat!
Today's is a very small post, am beat :)

Life's lemons and Temple's Lemon-rice

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Today being Vaikunta Ekadasi we felt it was appropriate to go and say hello to God in his own abode. There are not many temples in our part of the world unlike the Lil India (NJ) we moved from. Infact I think there are only 2 which are within an hour's driving distance. We went to one such God mall. There was a modest gathering and puja was in full swing. Now is the time I need to mention there is no canteen (kitchen) in this temple which means that we get to eat Prasadam in the temple if devotee has cooked and brought something. Our plan was to do a swift visit and go back home but while going through the Vaikunta Dwara I couldnt help noticing the prasadam spread in front of Sai Baba (today being Thursday and all). After we were done with our pradakshina I mentioned to T that maybe we should wait for the Maha Mangalarthi. I cannot honestly say that I did not have the delicioso at the back of my mind. Once the arathi was taken and the theertha was partaken we made a beeline to the table where the prasadam was being dispensed. But the crowd was much more seasoned and faster and we only got the fag end of the deal . A few items were already khallas! So much for the Uddin vade that I wanted to eat although I did get the lemonrice.
Well atleast it taught me a lesson - No, not the one about focussing on God but that I cannot take the temple for granted and not cook at home.

I am God with a remote

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Our house is becoming an Android lair. We have 2 android phones, an android tablet and Google TV. All I need now is an Android bot to cook and clean and I would be the happiest person on earth.
We purchased Google TV after much research and a frustrating experience with Roku.

Roku did not have direct access to the YouTube app nor did it have a browser app. So we were basically stuck with all kinds of apps using which needed paid subscriptions.

Anyway this post is not about technical details but about how we use technology to fox V

So, like I said earlier we brought home the Google TV and along with it came a keyboard. Even while I was digging into box for a familiar remote-like thing, T informed me that the keyboard was the remote. It was rather ungainly to operate a TV with a keyboard on your lap but it was a small price to pay for watching internet on a 22 inches TV kept 6 feet away from our eyes.

Just to bring in perspective, my laptop has a 15 inch screen and is a foot away from my eyes which means I can "read" whats written on the monitor!

So there I was Tv-ly challenged and dabbling around like a blind person much to the chagrin of a tech-savvy dotzy. (There is no "click to choose" on the trackpad!!).

Well that was the case till today (around an hour before to be precise) when I downloaded the Google TV remote for android phones. Voila - one more way to use your android phone. But all this would have had little impact on our lives if it werent to help us in child development. Our dotzy knows a lot about phones and TV which sometimes puts me to shame (she taught me how to use the Music app) so it becomes a challenge for me to remain one step ahead of her all the time. Now its time for revenge and I found the ultimate weapon! The cutie has no clue that there is a remote app on my phone and everytime the video she watches pauses she gets very confused. More because she can see that we are nowhere near the biggie remote. We dont know how this will affect her behaviour but we are telling her that the TV has eyes and it will pause the video everytime it sees that she is not eating :). All she needs to do is eat another spoon of food and clap her hands for the video to work :)

Bottom-line - Tum sher toh ham savasher he he he (evil laugh)

I can only gloat for a few days till she figures it out

Who's the mom?

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My dotzy bosses over me like no other and vice versa. We fight, we bicker, we make up and we need each other. She got all the stubbornness and rebel genes from me I guess. But what I like about her attitude is her ability to turn (or atleast try) even a bad situation to her advantage in her own kutty-putani way.

Some gems below:

All conversation in American accented English (V) and desi English (me)

Scene 1
V is suddenly bored of making magic wands out of her sketch pens.
V : Mamma (thats my english name acc to her) I want your phone.
Me : No V, I am expecting a call now so I cant give it to you
The above goes in loops 3 times with my voice raising with every iteration.
V : Dont shout at me
Me : Am not shouting, am talking loudly
V : (Snapping) Will you stop talking and listen to me?
Me : (Aghast) ok
V : ((As if talking to a moron) I - want - your - phone - now
Me : I told you I am going to get a call so I cant give you my phone
V : Oh alright ha ha. Put Dora on TV.

Scene 2
V starts crying suddenly after bath
Me : Why are you crying gunda?
V : waaaaaaaaaaaa
I sulk, V sulks, no one talks. 15 minutes later after the crying subsided
Me : You want some bajji (V's word for yoghurt) ?
V : No. But you need to say sorry to me (categorically).
Me : Why
V : Because you scolded me and then you dint talk to me.
Me : I dint scold you, you started crying and dint say why
V : (Not knowing how to top it) Oooh ok ha ha. Its ok.I want some grapes.

I am so glad that she is around with me. Following me, checking on me, smothering me with affection and slathering me with kisses. I love my kutty mummy :)

Tree of Hope

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Three months ago I brought home a small plant which I called the tree of hope. It was my first Tulasi plant and I hinged a lot of wishful thinking on the well-being of the plant. Sadly, a 3-day trip out of town saw the demise of my little plant, a happening that left an indelible mark on me.
Today I want to write about the warmth of plants and not the lack of it!
Last year I went to Mumbai on one hectic recruitment drive from SAP. The only Mumbayya I encountered on that day were in a haze of driving past, traffic signals and our over enthusiastic cab driver. I had seen the tourist spots of the city of dreams on an earlier visit but it was around this time that I got to experience a slice of sights and sounds of the normal Bombay. Happy kids on the sidewalks getting wet cheerily in the non-stop rain (It had been raining since 7 days and continued to rain for another 5 after.). Girls confidently walking on roads in mini-skirts. People going, going and going. Roads teeming with people except at the tech park where our office was situated. The building Harshad Mehta built from the hawala money. The huge piece of real estate which was converted from slums to tech park material by buying every slum dwelling for a crore each (trivia provided by the cab driver) . The proudly candid driver from UP, who told us his life story in the 4 trips that we made in his car. The Udupi hotel we landed at for lunch on the quest to eat authentic Mumbai food (the food was super delicious and the waiters were speaking to each other in tulu/konkani).
While one does not identify Mumbai with green spread, the most ecstatic sight was that of plants. Every window in every residential building whether decrepit or exquisite had a spot of green hanging on it. Pots in every size, shape and colour hung from or balanced precariously on the window grills/sills with life coming forth. Bright flowers peeping out from behind clothes flapping in the breeze. There is nothing more soothing to the soul than an eyeful of fresh greenery and this seems to be rooted in the very heart of mumbai. The Mumbaikars are the busiest people we can see and yet they take out enough time to bring a sprig to life. They probably see glaring ups and downs in their lives given the pace of life and still they dont deny a glass of water to the little shrub outside their window. The tree of hope lights up the very depths of one's mind and heart. Plants have a meditative quality to them and help in calming frayed nerves. A dash of green helps bring positivity in one's mind.
It must have been my anguish or my self depracation at not having tended to my precious plant, whatever the reason, my buddies P & P presented me with another slender sapling complete with pot and pot-mix on the occasion of Tulasi Habba. My hope is back on track!

Mirror mirror on the wall

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One wall in my bedroom is host to one of the most entertaining mirror I have ever had. It reminds me of the days when the most interesting outing of the year used to be to the Annual Arts and Crafts Exhibition.

I lived in Hyderabad as a kid and all the four of us used to ride astride a Bajaj Chetak scooter to the Nampally grounds every year to this exhibition. It was something that we used to wait for with excitement soaring. And it never failed to appease. The chilli bajji(of which I used to eat the bajji part and my dad the chilli part), the camel rides (which I only used to stand to a side and watch since I was chicken), the endless walk through the fair grounds, the smell of fresh popcorn and cotton candy, holding on to my mom's finger lest I get lost and a whole host of memories. One of the things I remember vividly is the house of mirrors. My favourite was always the one which made me look taller. But the most hilarious was the one which made you look like humpty dumpty.

The mirror we purchased seems to be a distant cousin of this risque gang. The speciality of this mirror is that it can make me happy. I have discovered that the farther I stand from it, the more elegant the size looks and the closer I get to the mirror, the bigger the proportions get. As can be concieved, I do not preen at myself in this mirror. I only use it to give me the shot of confidence whenever I need it.

My mirror has become the epitome of denial. It shows me what I want to see. I read in a fairy tale about an evil step-mother wanting the mirror to tell her what she wanted to hear. Now I have realised why she was so desperate!

My mirror reflects the state of my mind.

What does it take to reach God's Lotus feet?

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After a long time, I listened to one of my all time favourite songs

The english translation for the first 2 lines is:

Can I ever find a way to climb the steps of Nirvana to reach your lotus feet? Can I ever be blessed with your servitude?

The emotion behind the song gets me to the verge of tears everytime I listen to it. I saw this movie eons ago at Hyderabad when life still revolved around Doordarshan. There were two movies which moved me to tears at that impressionable age and this was one gem.

The ultimate holiday destination for all human beings is the transcendental Heaven. Between here and there we have Life. Through this life we live in self doubt of some form or another. A doubt which manifests itself into asking the ultimate question in many lyrical ways. As human beings we do not want to be over-confident or egoistic about God. To thwart such aforesaid doubt we have an essential need to be patted on the back. Every once in a while most of us need to be told we are on the right track. Every good deed done clamours (even secretly) a 3rd party glorification. Personal and professional fronts join hands in this one quest. Work is worship said some wise man. Some of us with software engineering bug in our systems write divine code and wait with bated breath for the nod of agreement at our self appraisal. We run behind life’s carrots like bulls in a rampage calling it God’s will. We take every success in our stride and put every failure faithfully into the God-knows-why bucket.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the seed which grows the social media tree. Even a half baked thought could be entered into a daily contest to be adjudged by all and sundry. The number of likes and the number of comments garnered leads to self gratification. After all it is the feeling of being loved that we chase all our lives in the fond hope that it would get us to the enlightened path where you don’t need any street light to see where you are walking.

Cheers to God . QED.

Life as a Sonnet

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Looking out at the gloomy skies,

Greeting the sun, driving away the shies.

A little fight lost,

Brushing teeth at any cost.

A big battle won,

School for the little one.

Cooking cleaning and admiring,

Yoga flexes my bones and wiring.

Happiness as the school bus deposits,

Lunch pleas and bath as time flits.

Cozy evenings spent with toys,

Lego cities brings all round joys.

Night bears down fast and dark,

Dinner and to dreamland we would embark.

Bonus lines:

All through one friend stands by me,

The steadfast and loyal TV.