1.26.2007

Amma (Mother)

Monday started out very relaxed but suddenly the fire got turned on. I am at yet another fork, yet another decision. I got so worked up that to calm down I opened my blog and remembered this post that I wrote and never posted. Its about one of the foursome I am closest to.
My Amma.
"Yo-yo" Thats what she would say if I will call and tell her that I have written about her on my blog. She is one of my readers you see. But come to think of it, "yo-yo" would be her reaction to many things people tell her. The way it is intoned differs from situation to situation :)
The one thing that I have learnt from her is self confidence. There are other qualities that I am yet to learn from her. The biggest one being that she is a believer. She is a believer in humanity, of goodness, in love and most of all in life.
At every turn in life, at every deciding fork in life she has egged me on with guidance and sometimes with plain guts.It all started with teaching me Hindi in primary school, a feat which she accomplished by learning it herself from MY text books(my memory seems to have deleted earlier files)! From then on she has been the nice little pillar of strength through to the most important decision in my life and still counting.
As I am writing all this I get the feeling that the person reading will be forming an image of my mom in his/her mind. I hope its not of a stern, hand folded grim lady. My mom is the gentlest creation of God. The softness of her beautiful face is enhanced by the glasses she wears and stumbles because of! If one wants to experience joy in life tell my amma a joke. Her mirth and laughter is so infectious that you will double with laughter yourself within no time. She has an almost girlish charm about her (which is in no way a reflection of her age!) and lends to her timeless quality. Even today when someone gives her a compliment she blushes like a teenager :). She has an immaculate sense of dressing and carries herself like royalty. I have even written a small snippet about this when I was in school and still dreamed of bearing myself like a princess! I seem to be sounding like a kid who has been asked to describe her bestest candy :).
I love you Ma.
I always wonder how you and I became friends also from being just mother-daughter (though you always say I used to boss over you). Its very strange. It also feels weird (when I kick in my stupid habit of becoming the third person and) when I analyse a conversation we would have had, because of its depth. Looking back I dont remember any time when I was scared of you Ma. Instead you were the one (and appa ofcouse, but thats another post for another day) I would run to when anything scared me. Ofcourse, I have battled hard with you (and still do) over trivial and important stuff but isn't that one of the reasons we have such a lovely relationship? I have tormented you with my stubbornness but you never gave up on me.
I love you more for that.

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