Get Real on HD

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T and me watch some reality shows in the sense of "that thing we do together" apart from movies, chatting, travel, outwitting V and having fun. We have been hooked to the big reality show Bigg Boss for the past few years. (I think we derive some perverse pleasure in seeing contestants squirm with embarassment, seethe with anger and reek of unnaturality.) This year we had to champion the cause of desi support in the videshi land by searching for the best unofficial HD recorded videos of this show. I would wait till evening with mounting enthusiasm and as soon as T would be home I would hurriedly shove a coffee cup in his hand and click on the play button. For the next one hour we would be lost in the world of the bawling contestants seeing them put on make-up, letting down their guard, shouting, screaming and eating! (Like one contestant pointed out they made 70 rotis a day!!). This everyday for 3 months. Last Saturday all the drama folded up with the finale. It left me high and dry with a lot of excitement still suspended in my system just like after a raucous wedding. "What to inject from next week?" screamed my mind. There is a possibility that the sound may have emanated and T might have heard the scream. He has shown me inspiration for the weeks ahead by searching for the HD online videos of MTV Roadies. Yes, that reality show which evokes the "I hate you like I love you" emotion has started! Should I even mention that I am hooked? Life is good again. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

The movie 13B reviewed

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and found to be a sadistic revenge wreaked on the non-suspecting, highly-critical, higherIQ-claiming mass of people who condone Indian TV soaps (anyone tell me why it is called this instead of the self-explanatory "serial" these days?) as stupid, no-brainer and fool-making medium in the garb of entertainment.

If one wants to see the positive side to it -
It is also an anticipation generating mechanism. It's the perfect example of "Hope". It instills in the audience a want to live and ofcourse wait for "what happens next" albeit in someone else's life. Maybe the TV soaps have been able to achieve what God and one's inner self couldnt achieve - hanging on to the thread of Hope?

What not to wear

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It was in a hotel room at a foreign location, one cold lonely night, that I understood that I was a complete fashion failure. Yes it was in the month of March with the snow raging outside that I stumbled upon this fact of life when I watched for the first time What not to wear on a channel called TLC in Montreal to which I was addicted, the channel I meant. I discovered that t-shirts and jeans are worn by dorks and flat heeled footwear are worn by….well not worn in fashionable or half the claim circles. These being the staple of my wardrobe I was left feeling ashamed of myself at the end of every single show.
On this show the victim (who is ‘volunteered’ by friends and foe alike because they suddenly realize that they cannot live/work/remain with a dowdy lady anymore) is given 5000 dollars, loads of abuses at current dress sense and a lot of fashion advice and sent out into the big sinful world of shopping to choose her new wardrobe. And ofcourse one cannot run to the nearest flea market or garage sale to dish out new variety and also save some moolah but have to go to the super duper expensive branded shops of New York and spend the entire five grand. And yes like all fairy tales there is a midnight hour even in this one where the victim participant has to bring every last suitcase load of her clothes and watch with tears at all of that goes directly into a trash bin with the hosts (fashion experts) making fun of each piece of garment.
There were visible transformations on every show. T-shirts and jeans transformed into skirts and frocks and tops. Turtlenecks give way to plunging depths. This was the definition of fashion. The fit became the buzzword.
But, I love this show. For all the embarrassment and humiliation the victim faces she comes out tops at the end with 4 fancy dresses, a new hairdo and a makeover in exchange for 40 dresses and grubby looks that she had painstakingly aquired over the years.
I learnt a lot about what kind of cut in clothes suit what kind of body shapes. The only thing am yet to figure out is what kind of a body shape template I fit into. As soon as I get done with that am on the fashion superhighway folks!
My mom always says “Dressing is an art”. And I have always had an aspiration to become perfect in that art. Enroute to fulfilling this desire I discovered accessories and eye liner. I have become adept at picking the jeans that fit me albeit a little loose to give enough room for errr.. changes. I have also discovered colors. And some that suit me. I experiment with different tailors to bestow on me the chic look. I am always waiting for the moment which would magically transform me into a bright eyed, twinkle toed beautiful girl.
Sadly I have also discovered my slouch which makes any dress that I wear look like a sack hung over me. I have a bad hair day everyday except on holidays and that only because I don’t bother to even comb it with the intention of staying put at home. Most times I am asked to go and take bath ten minutes after a refreshing shower. So much for eyeliners! I even tried bullying T to nominate me for this show while we were in Montreal.
To my brazen dismay I have recently discovered that T has a fantastic sense of what I should wear better than me! And to my disbelief his choice compliments me very well! Oh well, one doesn’t have to be perfect in everything. One should only know whom to approach for help.

P.S:- There is a similar series in UK which gets aired in India also and its pathetic compared to its North American counterpart. The hosts are overtly unabashed and the participants have to get into a mirrored cubicle with their bare minimum and withstand the stares and pointed remarks they get from the fashion experts. Ugh! I cant imagine how they can go through with something thats so disgusting. And if you ask my opinion their fashion tips are ludicrous. They transform the ladies from pants to skirts with the same dowdy look.

Alisha Wonderland

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If there is only one person who entertains on the Indian Idol show it is....No not Anu Malik but the bimbette judge. Let the original baby doll please stand up. Presenting to you single reader Alisha in wonderland Chinai. The super duper blooper of the show. I am not sure she understands what exactly is required of an Indian Idol singer. For that matter neither do I and another few thousands of viewers. Is it the singing talent that is being showcased or their tingling performance? Am not sure. I as a viewer am left thoroughly confused because of the judges' comments as well. When a song falls flat on a normal listener's ears it receives a tremendous thumbs up from the connoisseurs on the jury. When a singer gets a popular response from the studio crowd, the judges feel that it was a bummer. But all the seriousness aside, I watch this show only for one reason - the stupefied face of Alisha Wonderland. Her face inadvertently mirrors her feelings, or does it? Everytime she listens to someone singing very well she has this constipated look on her face, I cant fathom why. Jealousy maybe? Everytime a particularly guy (who proposed on this show to another competitor) sings a deep chink appears on her cheeks as she blushes away her overwhelming sighs and presents her verdict. Its fun to watch I tell you. The gamut of emotional juggernauts that she presents is unique. It lighs up the otherwise dull show. She could even put a bulb above her Marge Simpsonique hairdo which could light up the entire set! I wonder how many hair extensions she needs to remove before going to bed every night. So yesterday, on the show, the lady was extremely happy with some performances and she obviously wanted to express herself and these were the two masterpieces :
You blew it!
You smoked it!
I can imagine the poor old thing’s fiery distress when someone eventually points it out